Viva La Vie Christine!
by SimplyElymas
Summary: A parody of Rent's La Vie Boheme, with PotO. Kay and Lerouxish. Rather good, in my humblish opinion. Rated for reference to the death of a doggeh.


I have decided that I shall desecrate two great shows by writing one random song parody. Fun. I now present to you, fresh from the prison of my mind, darkness deep as hell, all that good stuff, my PotO version of La Vie Boheme from Rent! I love this song, so I thought this might be enjoyable.

Richard:  (To Erik) No please no

Not tonight please no

Monsieur - can't you go

Not tonight - can't have a scene

Erik:  What?

Moncharmin:  Go please go,

You - (to Raoul) Hello sir!

(To Erik) I said no

Important customers

Erik:  What am I - just a blur?

Richard:  If you're displeased, someone will die!

Erik:  That's a lie - that's a lie

I'm moody that's all that I'll say -

Moncharmin:  And of Bouquet?

Erik:  Oh yeah. . .

Raoul:  The ghost of the Paris Opera here?

Moncharmin:  There goes the -

All:  Chandelier!

Christine:  The enemy of the peaceful way -

We'll stay.

Raoul:  Oy vey!

What brings the man out of his mind to the show today?

I would like to propose a toast

To Erik's noble try (Points at Christine)

It went well -

Erik:  Go to hell!

They all know you're a fop!

Even without my Punjab

If we fought you'd get stomped!

Christine:  Why did Muffy -

Piangi:  Carlotta!

Christine:  Miss the show?

Erik:  (Evil grin) There was a death in the family,

If you must know.

Christine:  Who died?

Piangi:  The doggeh.

Andre:  (To Erik)  Dang, that's cold.

Erik:  (To Christine)  Christine - I'm surprised

A gorgeous, charming girl like you

Hangs out with this slacker

His fate I'll have to seal

He makes fun - yet I am the one

Who taught you how to sing.   
Or do you really like "Milkshake" on his cell ring?

I've heard it, and it's there.

(To the managers)  Carlotta, Carlotta's

A fallacy in your head.

This is Christine's World. . .

The toad diva is dead.

Managers:  Dearly beloved

We gather here to say our goodbyes

All:  Dies Irae dies illa

Kyrie eleison Yitgadal v' yitkadash (etc.)

Erik:  Here she lies

Here's all she's worth (Spits)

The late great daughter of mother earth

On this night when we celebrate the birth

In this little Opera Populaire

We raise our glass - down to the last - to –

La vie Christine.

All:  La vie Christine.

La vie Christine.

La vie Christine.

La vie Christine.

Christine:  Angels of inspiration

Playing music, making something out of nothing

Raoul:   The need for a dress –

Moncharmin:  And for safety pins.

Richard:  Walk backwards against the grain –

Erik: Going insane

Going mad

All But Erik:  To murders we could mention

Which called up our attention

Ghosts without retention

For polite convention

Who bear a mention

Erik:  Not to mention of course

Thinking Raoul is a cad

To wearing a mask

Managers:  To francs which the ghost must loot

Box Five - and we're still alive -

Bouquet:   To Absolut -drink's choice

Christine:  To my angel's voice

Raoul:  And I am not a cad!

Erik:  To being with her for once

Despite what she's seen

All:  La vie Christine

La vie Christine

Christine:  Remember your anger management

Erik:  Yes, Christine.

The diva doesn't have a case.

Raoul:  Don't give me that. . .(Pause to giggle)

Face. (Giggles.)

Ayesha:  Ahem.

Christine:  Cool it sister

He's my mister.

Managers:  So that's one Opera Ghost, three angsty lovers

Two are brilliant singers, two harried managers

Damn, why must we take all the falls?

Erik:  You think I'M happy?  

Christine:  If you close your eyes.

Managers:  And now we're gonna die!

Is that it here?

Piangi:  What of the

All : Chandelier!

Meg and Mme. G.:  To Opera Populaire, despite it's rivalries

To patrons, to divas, to hitting notes with ease

To tickets, to gossip, admiring the cue

To Faustus the doctor and the pink slip - adieu!

Giry:  Box keepers with notions

Ghosts causing a commotion

Creation, narration

Managers:  The pride of all the nation!

Erik:  To barrels, rat catchers, to torture and to –

Piangi:  Carlotta!

All:  To Christine!

Erik:  (To Piangi) A curse and noose on you.

Managers:  To vocal conversions, R and J onstage

Phillipe:  Sorelli's loose!

Sorelli:  Worn pointe shoes!

Managers:  To the stage!

Nadir:  To Persia

To Allah

And Manderzan's Sultana too

All:  Why Christine and Raoul

Went over Apollo

In happiness serene!

La vie Christine!


End file.
